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Friday, March 4, 2011

Some trolls you meet on the internet

There are several types of trolls who post on public internet forums. Some posters are genuinely interested in helping others find solutions to their problems, meaningful dialogue and deep philosophical discussions. This is not about them There are other posters whose sole reason for existing appears to be to stir up trouble and controversy. Some of these types include: the know-it-all; the busybody; the one-trick pony; the insanely partisan; and the one-upper. These folks can be found on any internet discussion board or forum, inclduding this one.

The busybody is the nosy lady next door, always peering out her virtual window to make sure no one is doing anything of which she does not approve. She is appalled by the topics other people write about, and takes great pains to read, and comment, on them. Her gentlewomanly senses are offended by the stench of others' opinions and activities, yet she insists on dwelling on the blogs where these other odiferous posters post. Her notions of propriety are much more advanced than those of we mere mortals, and she lurks on every topic that might be considered the least bit scandalous to remnd us of our own inferior morals and values. She is prude, and a bore.

The know-it-all is a self-proclaimed expert on everything. No matter the subject, this fellow has seen more, and knows more, than anyone else ever He will go the distance arguing with anyone who has actual expertise in any given subject. He always has anecdotes and plausible facts to back his anecdotes, as long as you dont verify those facts with an independent source.

A closely related specimen to the know-it-all is the one-upper. No matter how bizarre, no matter how unique an experience you post about, the one-upper has a more outrageous tale to tell. Your experiences are mere appetizers to hisa adventures. You were attacked by a lion? He ws set on by a lion and a pack of hyenas. You once shook hands with a movie star? He dated one. We all know the type.

The one trick pony and the insanely partisan are kissing cousins. No matter the topic, one-trick manages to shoehorn in comments on his cause celebre. A thread on Model T Fords somehow morphs to abortion. Discussions on saving money while grocery shopping are interrupted with an important announcement about gay rights. Likewise, the partisan finds comfort in blaming everything wrong with the world on the other side. His party is not responsible for the terrorist attack that happened during their watch; the guy who used to be president is responsible. Truman's "The buck stops here" is only applicable if the guy in the Oval Office is from the other party.

Well, there you have it, a brief review of some of the trolls you find online.

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